


Beyond The Known Spectrum

by RedCoral



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Allison, Alive Boyd, Alive Erica, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mates, Monster of the Week, Pining Derek, Pining Stiles, S4 didn't happen, Some time after 3B, Soulmates AU, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 16:16:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6573232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedCoral/pseuds/RedCoral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Derek, baby,” her voice sounded close, but she probably couldn’t see them, “I’ve told you. You’re my mate. I can always hear your heartbeat. Wherever you are, land or water, I can hear it. We’re meant to be, Derek.”</p>
<p>Stiles was trying not to speak, he really was. But he had been chased in the woods for the past hour by some freaking female Alpha who was obviously crazy, because mates? Seriously? Watched a little too much National Geographic again? “What the fuck is she going on about?” Stiles asked no one in particular frustrated.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I already have a mate.”</p>
<p>Stiles felt him tense behind him as soon as he finished he sentence. “I take it you didn’t mean to say this?” He whispered and Derek merely huffed. And then suddenly it registered what Derek had said… Wait what? Mates are a thing now? </p>
<p>“And that human you’re with, I promise you, you won’t be with him for long.”</p>
<p>Or, a Soulmates AU where a werewolf knows his mate because they are the only one that can hurt them physically without triggering the healing process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beyond The Known Spectrum

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone!
> 
> So, this is another thing that I needed to get out of my head. I just wanted a fic where a werewolf can get hurt by their soulmate, like bruise and heal in the time span humans do. 
> 
> The songs that inspired this were Haunted by Taylor Swift and War of Hearts by Ruelle. 
> 
> Enjoy!

They were in the preserve. They’ve been running and it was dark and he had no idea where they were going. They’ve been running for so long Stiles was losing his breath. He isn’t going to last much longer. They’re going to get caught and get mauled because of him. Stiles isn’t going to let that happen.

Suddenly a pair of arms was holding him in the air and a second later he landed in a body of water neck deep, the arms not letting go. His heart stopped, thinking for a moment this was it, this was where it ended, until he turned around and saw Derek looking over his shoulder. “Why are we stopping?” he somehow found the breath to ask. They were in the lake behind a cliff and Stiles didn’t know why they weren’t running.

“We can’t outrun her.” Derek whispered without looking back at him. Stiles didn’t know what he trying to see exactly since it was pitch black and Stiles could barely make out the cliff they were leaning against, but maybe his werewolf senses could offer him something more. A minute later Stiles heard careful steps from somewhere above them. She was probably standing on the cliff. Hopefully the water would cover their scent and Stiles frantic heartbeat.

Derek tightened his hold on him, “Shut up and don’t move,” he warned. 

“Derek, baby,” her voice sounded close, but she probably couldn’t see them, “I’ve told you. You’re my mate. I can always hear your heartbeat. Wherever you are, land or water, I can hear it. We’re meant to be, Derek.”

Stiles was trying not to speak, he really was. But he had been chased in the woods for the past hour by some freaking female Alpha who was obviously crazy, because mates? Seriously? Watched a little too much National Geographic again? “What the fuck is she going on about?” Stiles asked no one in particular frustrated.

Derek was probably feeling the same way, because he immediately snapped, “I don’t know. I already have a mate.”

Stiles felt him tense behind him as soon as he finished he sentence. “I take it you didn’t mean to say this?” He whispered and Derek merely huffed. And then suddenly it registered what Derek had said… Wait what? Mates are a thing now? He was ready to ask, when the Alpha’s voice sounded again.

“And that human you’re with, I promise you, you won’t be with him for long.”

That was definitely a threat. But Stiles didn’t know who it was for. “What’s that supposed to mean? Are you dating a human?!” He hissed at him, trying not to give their position away. “Why-” _Why him?_ Isn’t that what she said, ‘him’? _Why not me?_ There were so many whys Stiles wanted to know the answer to but none of them fit the moment. But they didn’t matter, did they? Because Derek was already with someone else. “Why didn’t you tell me?” is what he settled on. “I thought we…” _were something_. He thought they were something different. He thought their evolution from enemies to sort-of-friends-who-have-each-other’s-back was a step to the right direction. The direction towards which Stiles wanted them to go ever since he found out who Derek Hale really was. But maybe it wasn’t the same for Derek. Maybe to him he was just another ally. Or maybe he was the scrawny, clumsy human he always had to save. “I thought we were friends,” he finally said, thankful his voice didn’t break or show the betrayal he was feeling. That was probably so far from the truth for Derek. But it wasn’t a far stretch for Stiles.

Derek looked at him with an unreadable expression on his face. It was like he was looking for something and Stiles didn’t know what it was to give it to him. Finally, he shook his head, letting go of Stiles, got out of the water, and sighed “She’s gone. Let’s go.”

Stiles sighed after him and started walking. However, during the whole way back to his jeep he couldn’t keep his mind shut. He kept on wondering who Derek’s mate was. If Stiles knew him. Was Derek even dating his mate? Or was he dating somebody else until his mate came around? Would Derek even do that? Where did they meet? How long have they been together? Haven’t the others smelled “the mate” on Derek? Why haven’t they said something? And when did Derek even find time to see him? The past couple of months have been hectic even for the supernatural standards. Did “the mate” know about the supernatural? Did he know he was “the mate”? Most importantly, why hadn’t Derek said anything?

There was something off about the whole thing that really bugged Stiles. There was a sliver of hope inside of him that was confusing him to no end. It was something the crazy Alpha said. _“The boy you are with.”_ Present tense. What if Stiles had taken it out of context? If Derek had a mate he was with, she would have smelled him on him and given up a long time ago, right? What if she meant the boy Derek had been with at that moment? What if she meant Stiles?

This was driving him insane. This wasn’t healthy. The repressed hope that was trying to burst in his chest was not healthy. He just needed to know. “Can you just fucking stop for a minute?!” Stiles yelled- frustrated with himself that he couldn’t figure it out- at Derek that was several steps ahead of him. When Derek stopped and turned to him, crossed his arms on his chest waiting for him to catch up, Stiles said “We need to talk about this.”

Derek turned to keep on walking then, saying “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Stiles ran those last few steps that were separating them and stopped him, grabbed his arm to turn him around, “I think there’s plenty to talk about. Like what was she talking about? Why is she fixated on you?!” He raised his voice because Derek was being an uncooperative bastard again.

“I don’t know,” he answered, his jaw clenched, obviously he was wishing he were anywhere but here having this conversation.

“Who is your mate?” Derek looked away, silent once again. “Do the others know?” Stiles saw him faintly shake his head and went on, “Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell me?!” He pressed on again. He wanted to know.

“Stop!” Derek suddenly exploded, Stiles was being pushy, asking questions Derek wasn’t ready to be asked. “Just fucking stop.” Stiles couldn’t understand. Derek wasn’t just angry or frustrated. He looked defeated. He could barely look at Stiles and he didn’t know why. What had he done? “I can’t do this,” he said. “I just can’t.” And just like that, he walked away.

“Derek, wait!” Stiles shouted. But Derek didn’t listen. Instead, he ran. He was out of sight in seconds.

 

* * *

 

It’s been four days since the night in the woods. It’s been four days of Derek avoiding him and pushing him away. He really hated this hot and cold thing between them. Four days ago Derek didn’t want to leave him out of his sight and where was he now? After all, he was the one being stalked and didn’t even know it. How could he not know? What did he use those werewolf senses for if not imminent threats like an insane Alpha woman that was obsessed with him?

It all started about a little more than a couple of weeks ago when Stiles came home from school to find a note waiting for him, stabbed on the door with a kitchen knife and all.

_Stiles was really grateful school was finally over, even if it just was for today.  Honestly, he loved his friends, but sometimes he wanted to choke them with wolfsbane. Like today. It was one of the greatest gifts and curses that this semester they all had the same lunch period, which meant that they spent most of their time teasing Stiles about Derek. They all knew about his stupid crush on another unattainable supernatural being and they just had to mention it every moment possible. Today went something like this._

_“Oh my god, Stiles. What did you do to him?” That was Erica, who was already with a smirk on her face that said this was not going to be her only comment about this, even though Stiles didn’t know what ‘this’ was._

_“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Stiles blinked at her confused._

_“She’s talking about yesterday’s training,” Isaac pointed out as he sat next to the blond bombshell._

_Derek had insisted on training at least once a week. Derek had also insisted that it was werewolves only. Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. Sure, Stiles had his bat. But maybe a few moves wouldn’t hurt. “What about it?”_

_“Remember when you kicked Derek on his face?” Isaac asked not really looking at him, instead focusing on the something that couldn’t be food on his tray._

_“Oh my God,” Stiles groaned. That had not been his best moment. “I told him! It was accident!” It was! It wasn’t a kick per say, it was more like a gentle shove that totally happened by mistake. Okay, it was a kick. But still! A werewolf! He didn’t know he’d kicked him that hard! And by the way, Derek was the one that insisted he trained him himself! “Is he still whining about it?” Stiles actually whined about it._

_Isaac poked at what should resemble food while saying, “Not exactly.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_Erica shrugged, looking at him with a smirk, “He hasn’t said anything about it, but he still hasn’t healed for some reason.”_

_That doesn’t make sense. It was a little kick that bruised really badly, but on the upside should have gone down minutes later. “You mean he-”_

_Erica didn’t let him finish, she never did when she thought she had something smart to say. “He still looks like an eggplant? Yes, we do. Though, I’m sure he’s still a pretty hot eggplant.”_

_Stiles tried to give her his most heated glare, but since something told him it didn’t work on her, he added for good measure, “You’re evil.”_

_And then Boyd spoke up, “Stiles doesn’t care if Derek’s hot.”_

_Boyd’s Stiles favorite. He’s quiet and an everlasting presence in the pack at the same time. It might also be because he’s the only one who hasn’t ever said anything about Stiles’ crush. “Finally! Someone said it! Thank you Boyd!”_

_“Unless he’s not wearing a shirt.” Which was most of the time._

_Scratch that. Stiles hates Boyd. “I hate you, you know that?” he banged his head on the table to try and conceal the blush that was definitely taking over his face, but when everyone started laughing, he knew it didn’t work._

So you can see why Stiles wanted to get out of there so badly. But that was not to come home with another threat against his life. The note read _“Either you disappear, or I’ll make you.”_ He frowned and looked around him, not knowing what he was looking for, but still. Something felt off. It felt like someone was watching him, but nobody was there. He had a bad feeling about this.

He got into his house taking the note with him and called Scott immediately. He didn’t let him speak before he said, “Get here now. Through the door.” He hung up right away and rushed through the whole house to lock all the windows and close the curtains. Nobody should be able to look in now. Fifteen minutes later, his place was full of werewolves, a banshee and a hunter, everybody looking at him with concern and confusion in their eyes.

“Stiles, what happened?” Scott asked.

“Take a look at this,” Stiles gave him the note and waited, biting his nails nervously.

“What does it mean? Who gave it to you?” Scott frowned like a confused puppy. Derek took it from his hands to read it himself.

“I don’t know, Scott. It was stabbed on my door when I got home.”

Derek frowned, as if he was trying to remember something, but the memory was escaping him at the moment. The bruise, which was now a reddish blue color, was made more prominent by the expression his face took. “I know that scent. It’s been following me for a while.”

Stiles looked at him incredulously, not knowing what the right response to that was. “It’s been following you? And you’re saying that now?” He flailed his hands while he spoke and when Derek glared at him, he went on, “Couldn’t you have said that, oh, I don’t know, a month ago when he, she, whatever _actually_ started following you?!”

“What would you have done if I had? Sniffed them out?” Derek raised an eyebrow at him pointedly.

“Hey, don’t knock it till you try it! Scott found my favorite Batman T-shirt yesterday!” Stiles said as he pointed to Scott, who had a small smile on his face, proud to have helped his friend.

Derek rolled his eyes at their antics, “How did you lose your t-shirt? You know what? I don’t want to know.”

Stiles smirked at him, “I’d tell you, but I’d have to kill you. Maybe this strange person, _if_ it is a person, and I might have something in common.”

Derek looked at him like he was an idiot. “ _It_ wants to kill _you_.”

“Yeah,” Stiles shrugged, “but it’s following you. That must mean something, right?”

“As entertaining as your unresolved sexual tension is,” Lydia started while Stiles interrupted sputtering, “Unresolved se- there’s no tension! No tension at all! No tension here! Nope!” she ignored him and went on, “there’s a possibly supernatural creature we still don’t know how to find yet.”

By now all of them had read the note and most were trying to hide their smiles as they watched Derek and Stiles argue like there was no tomorrow. Isaac was snickering at them, while Erica was smirking knowingly which seriously irked Stiles. But as Lydia said, back to the point.

Derek nodded at her and said, “Stiles and I will stay here and do some research.”

Stiles was looking at him, his eyes wide open, because what on earth was he talking about? They had nothing to go on! Only a handwritten note and a faint scent that only Derek knew. What were they going to research? What does someone’s handwriting expresses about their personality? “On what? Obsessive supernatural creatures?!”

“We’ll start on that.”

Stiles could not believe that he agreed! Thank god Scott was a reasonable person sometimes and he said, “I’ll stay with Stiles. You and the others can go and find them.”

Derek shook his head, “No, you can do it yourselves.”

“But you know the scent!” Scott pointed out.

“So do you.” Derek grabbed the note from where it was left on the coffee table and gave it to Scott so that he could memorize the scent. Nobody disagreed on that. When Scott tried, Allison jumped in and said, “I’ll ask my dad if he’s heard anything about someone new in town.”

Lydia took her cue next, “I’ll do some research of my own. I’ll call you if I find anything.”

Erica, Boyd and Isaac were joining Scott on the search. When everyone knew what they had to do, they left, while Derek and Stiles moved to the latter’s bedroom who groaned, “This is going to be a disaster.”

 

* * *

 

“Can’t we just join the others on the hunt?” Stiles had been researching for the past couple of hours anything ranging from supernatural creatures with obsessive tendencies, to those that stalked their prey before they made a move or even simply obsessive compulsive disorders but there was nothing solid! Nothing that they could adapt with no doubt to their current situation. This was pointless and he had told Derek so a hundred times already.

“No.” He didn’t even look up from the book he was reading. Stiles never knew Derek was into history, but he was currently reading his history textbook, so he must be.

Stiles spun around in his chair to look at him and said, flailing his arms in exasperation, “But I told you dude, there’s nothing here to look for. I don’t know what to look for!”

“Don’t call me dude.” He always said that. Hadn’t he realized already that Stiles wasn’t going to stop calling him that? It was a too good opportunity to irk him to pass it up. “I thought you were going to research obsessive supernatural creatures.”

“First of all,” Stiles started pointing at him, regardless of the fact that Derek wasn’t looking, “I was kidding! Also, you’d be surprised how many obsessive supernatural creatures there are on the Internet and I don’t even know if even half of them are real!”

Derek wasn’t paying attention to what Stiles was saying. His senses were alert and an irregular unfamiliar heartbeat was approaching the house. Something wasn’t right. It was beating a little too fast and a second later Derek heard a blunt tap on the door, something that Stiles wouldn’t have heard. And then the heartbeat was getting away even faster, few seconds later Derek could barely hear it. He didn’t hesitate. He looked at Stiles then, who was probably just finishing his rant with a “You’re not even listening to me, are you?”

Derek almost told him _no, I’m busy keeping you safe_ , but he didn’t dare. That would spiral into an argument about Stiles not actually being helpless and useless and he didn’t have the time for that. He stood up and said, “Stay here.”

“What?” Stiles was confused. He watched as Derek left the room, “Where are you-” He realized Derek wasn’t going to answer and Stiles was definitely not staying out of the action so he rushed to catch up with him.

Derek got to the door and he could smell the familiar scent before he even opened the door. As he expected, when he opened it, he found another note stabbed on the door, the same handwriting and scent all over it. He took it down, careful that the neighbors didn’t see anything and read it. Whoever this person was, they were getting more and more aggressive and Derek wasn’t going to let anything happen to Stiles.

He didn’t waste any time. He followed the scent and found out they were heading into the woods behind the sheriff’s house. He was taking a step to that direction when he heard Stiles running to catch up with him. He stopped because he knew Stiles would keep on running to find him and would probably get lost in the woods on his own. He turned to see him right behind him, panting, trying to catch a breath. “Goddamn it, Stiles. I told you to stay in the house.” Why couldn’t he just listen to him for once? He just wanted him safe. Couldn’t he see that?

Stiles grabbed the note right out of his hands once he saw it, as he hissed at him, “I am not staying alone when there is a probably supernatural being out there that wants to kill me and burry my body in the woods!” Stiles read the note he was holding and he frowned at what it said. _“I told you to disappear. You don’t listen, do you? Maybe it’s time I make you.”_ He had found the first note a couple hours ago. What did they expect? That he’d pack a bag and leave just like that? That he’d leave his father with no warning? Stiles’ heart sped up in fear at the thought of his father. Thankfully he was working a double shift today and he really hoped he wouldn’t come home to another note like this. He didn’t have to know anything about this yet. He didn’t need to worry. They had this under control, right?

Derek, unaware of Stiles’ inner thoughts and worries, he said, more like grunted, “Fine. Just stay close.”

Stiles tried to let go of his thoughts and focus on the now with Derek. “Really, it’s like you don’t know me at all, sourwolf,” he said with a fake smirk. If Derek noticed, he didn’t say anything about it. “Even this thing,” he pointed at the note, “knows me better than you.”

Derek was trying to concentrate on not losing the scent, but with Stiles always talking it was really difficult to achieve. “Stiles,” he warned. “Not helping.” The problem was that Derek was always interested in what Stiles had to say, even if it didn’t make sense to him at all. He liked listening to him. His voice was soothing to him, even if his words were most of the time annoying.

“Right. I’ll shut up,” he said posing hands in front of his body as if he was defending himself, “and let you focus your werewolf senses on whatever it is you’re focusing on.” Derek glared at him over his shoulder, so Stiles made a zipping motion with his hand on his mouth in response, “Shutting up.”

They kept on walking through the woods with Derek leading the way. Derek felt like they should have caught up with the scent by now. And even if it really went so fast, it was ways ahead of them, why were they moving deeper and deeper into the woods? Why not head towards the highway or the town? Something felt off. But he didn’t tell Stiles to stop. He had been right. Being with him knowing he could protect him if needed was better than him staying alone. The silence was nice for once, even though a bit unnerving since it was a rare event, but Stiles didn’t keep it for long. Not even ten minutes later, he asked, “So why hasn’t your stupid face healed yet? I didn’t kick you that hard, which I’m sorry for by the way, and even if I had, I mean, duh! Werewolf. Human.”

Derek looked at him over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at him, “My stupid face.” He avoided the rest of his question. He wasn’t ready to answer that yet. He didn’t know if he’d ever be.

“Okay,” Stiles conceded, “You don’t have a stupid face. You have a really, unfairly stubble-y h-” Stiles bit his tongue to stop himself from saying anything he shouldn’t and narrowed his eyes at the man in front of him. “I see what you did there and it’s not going to work. So, out with it.”

Derek smirked at Stiles getting carried away. He knew what Stiles felt when he saw him. He could smell it. But it wasn’t enough. Attraction and lust was not what Derek wanted Stiles to feel. So, he tried to stall whatever it was Stiles wanted to know from coming out. “Out with what?”

Stiles stopped to take a breath. They had been walking for a long time, okay? His hands were on his waist and if he had the energy, he would have completed the pose with tapping his foot, “Seriously? You’re going to make me repeat myself when I know you heard me perfectly well the first time around? Fine!” He threw his hands up in exasperation and went on, “Why aren’t you healing?”

Derek chose to go with, “I don’t know.” Neither of them was ready for the truth.

“But I do.” The voice took them both by surprise. Derek was confused as to where it came from, but he didn’t let it show. He was certain no one had been there a moment before. Which only meant one thing. “Would you like me to tell him?” she asked while flashing red eyes at him.

Derek barely resisted flashing his own red eyes at her, but this was a challenge and Stiles’ life was at stake, he couldn’t not to. “Who are you?” He asked her, face blank.

She smirked at him knowingly, “You know who I am.” She started stepping closer to them, but Derek didn’t let them move backwards.

He almost growled at her, “I don’t know you.” Her cockiness was annoying him and they mark he had put on his--on Stiles was making him angry.

“But your wolf does.” She was standing in front him, raising her hand to touch his face, but before she could Derek stopped her. “No, I don’t,” he actually growled this time and pushed her away with as much force as he could muster at the moment. She flew back but mid-fall she found her footing. Her smile now was predatory, her body ready to fight. She _wanted_ to fight him. Derek knew she was going to make a move soon enough and Stiles couldn’t be here for that. He turned around to tell him so, but Stiles, who had been so far gaping at the scene unfolding in front of him, beat him to it. “How could you not have smelled another Alpha?” He hissed at Derek.

Derek clenched his jaw in frustration because he had been wondering the same thing and answered Stiles the best he could, “She must have masked her scent somehow. Now will you shut up or are you planning to get us killed?!” He turned back around and found the Alpha walking towards them. It was careful and calculated. It was how a predator went after his prey. Derek didn’t look at him as he practically ordered, “Stiles, run.”

Stiles didn’t run as he should have, instead he poked Derek and asked, “What are you going to do?”

“I’ll be right behind you. Go!” Derek shouted and pushed him away just as the other Alpha lunged at them probably to make Stiles stay. Derek heard him mumble, “No need to tell me twice,” but he didn’t have time to pay attention and see where he went, he would find him. He always would. He popped his claws and slushed at her side, but she dodged that easily, retaliating with a blow on his back. It didn’t stop him though. He let her take the lead and when she tried to go for his middle with her claws, he grabbed her hand and pulled, the Alpha crying out as her shoulder was dislocated. But she didn’t stop. She didn’t run away. She slashed at his face, her claws catching his cheek that wasn’t bruised and tried to kick him off his feet. He jumped though at the last moment, and dodged her fist as it was coming to his face. He grabbed her waist in a moment of spontaneity and pushed her to the ground.

For some reason, she stopped fighting. She looked at him as he was lying on top of her and said, “Finally. I knew you’d come to reason.” Whatever that meant, he hadn’t. The fight was not over yet. He didn’t reply. Instead, he grabbed her face, playing along into her fantasy, and just as she was leaning towards him, he grabbed her neck and twisted, the audible crack sounding final in the otherwise empty forest. She growled at him, but he didn’t stay. “Stay away,” he said before he left, both a warning and a threat.

“You’re making a mistake!”

No, he wasn’t. He was only protecting the people important to him.

Stiles should have reached his house by now. He probably already called Scott, told him what happened, told him they’d found her. What he realized though, was that the Alpha was going after Stiles because of him. During their whole encounter she hadn’t looked at or talked to Stiles not even once. Her whole attention had been on Derek. She only turned to Stiles when he tried to stay away. So if Derek was the one who brought her to Stiles, then he would have to be the one to lead her away. Whatever it took.

Usually Derek would climb Stiles’ window, wanting to see him, make sure he’s okay. He couldn’t sleep if he didn’t know Stiles was okay. But he couldn’t do that now. He had to stay away. He had to keep him safe. What was one sleepless night in front of Stiles’ safety?

 

* * *

 

Stiles was going out of his mind. Derek had told him to run and he did. But he hadn’t been right behind him. In fact he hadn’t showed up his face for a week. Seven days he has stayed away and the pack wasn’t sharing any details. He’s fine, they said. Then why wasn’t he here? Were they done with the crazy Alpha? Stiles knew Derek hadn’t killed her, that much Scott said. Well then, why weren’t they doing anything about it? Regarding the note he got today this time before he even left for school, she hadn’t backed down.

He didn’t tell anybody about the note. Instead he told them all to come over saying it was urgent. When school ended and they were all at Stiles’ place –all except Derek – he gave them the note. After Scott read it, Stiles saw him subtly pull out his phone – which wasn’t subtle at all – and text somebody. A couple of minutes later, Derek walked in. The creeper had probably been waiting outside all along, hadn’t he?

“You shouldn’t leave your door unlocked,” was all he said in greeting. Seven days! After seven days, that’s what he chose to comment on?! The lock?!

Stiles stomped to him angrily, the bruise on his face that still hadn’t healed fueling his rage because he was sure the stupidwolf hasn’t asked for anyone’s help to figure out why it wasn’t gone yet. He stopped him before he walked further inside the living room, “Where have you been?!”

Derek raised an eyebrow at him, surprised at his anger, “Away.”

“Why?”

Derek clenched his jaw and looked away. It had been a torture staying away from him for so long, hearing from Scott and Erica how he was doing, that he was always asking where he was. But he couldn’t go to him. He couldn’t lead the Alpha to him again. But that obviously hadn’t worked, had it?

“I thought you left,” Stiles said to Derek’s silence, hoping his voice didn’t sound as worried and relieved as he was feeling. Honestly, all the pack had said was that he was fine. Not where he was or anything else. For all Stiles knew Derek could have been five states away and simply kept in touch with the others.

Derek turned to him then, catching something wrong in his tone. He frowned trying to figure out how Stiles could have come to that conclusion, “Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know! You always do!”

Stiles was angry, he could see that, but it still felt like a punch to the gut. It felt like Stiles blamed him for his past mistakes. It felt like Stiles was judging him for them. And for all that Stiles did and was, he never judged, not his need of space, never his need of escape. It hurt. It made him furious that Stiles could believe something like that. Mainly, it made him furious that Derek put him in a situation where such thing was believable. “I have been trying to protect you!” he shouted at him in a moment of anger.

But Stiles pushed back just as good as he got. “This is not protecting me!” He seemed to deflate then. He put his hand through his hair like he always did when he was frustrated and said in a strong voice, no room for argument, “Not being around is not protecting me, okay?”

“Now that we’ve got that cleared,” Erica started, making them both realize they were in fact not alone in the house. Stiles blushed, thinking he let out emotions that he should have kept for himself, while Derek looked away worried that he betrayed something Stiles wasn’t ready to deal with. “Are we going to deal with that bitch or not?” She went on, not particularly oblivious to what was going on, but not caring about it either.

Derek moved then, taking the note out of Erica’s hands, since she was the one that read it last and read it. “ _Tell your guard dogs to step down. If you leave my mate alone, so will I._ ”

“When did you get this?” Derek frowned.

“This morning before school. Why?”

“And you waited till now?!” Derek was unable to believe how dismissive Stiles was sometimes when it came to his own life.

“Well, I had school, you know? Some of us are still in high school and we need a high attendance record to graduate!” That was a weak argument and they all knew it. Stiles never hesitated whenever another monster showed up in Beacon Hills, but that was not the point.

“Are we going to do something?” Scott asked finally.

“We’re not,” Derek said. “I am.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up here a moment. You’re going to do what exactly? Scare her out of town? Challenge her to a duel? Want me to bring you a sword? Uh, big guy?”

Derek raised an eyebrow at him, “I’m going to talk to her.”

“And tell her what? That this is private property?” Stiles said in honor to their first meeting. Obviously whatever Derek had said then, hadn’t worked out and neither was it going to this time.

“Do you have any other ideas? Please, I’m all ears,” Derek gestured around them to show they were all paying attention.

“Oh, I have plenty ideas,” Stiles tried to stall. “I have so many ideas that you will—okay, I actually don’t have any. Like at all,” Stiles pursed his lips because really his mind was blank. All that was rolling around in his head was the note. It said her mate. But mates are really just a myth, aren’t they?

“Is nobody concerned about that mate thing?” Isaac said, raising his hand as if he was waiting for permission to say what he already asked.

“Dude,” Scott looked at him, “the woman’s crazy. Mates don’t exist. Who knows what’s going in her head.”

Derek didn’t react, but Stiles did, “Yeah, but who does he think is her mate?”

Derek didn’t look at any of them, didn’t speak up to say what he had realized a week ago, but Stiles didn’t need to be told anything. He always figured things out.

Stiles looked at Derek then. He saw how he was avoiding everybody’s eyes. His body was tense and his face was carefully blank, but a little while ago it hadn’t been. Just for a moment when he came in, when Stiles accused him of leaving his face took an expression of… guilt? Yeah, that must have been it. But what was Derek feeling guilty about? And just like that everything clicked in place. That night in the woods when he didn’t come back, the week following when he avoided Stiles like the plague, him coming here wanting to take care of the whole thing on his own… his martyr complex was showing. The one where he thought everything was his fault. Because… “It’s you, isn’t it?” Stiles moved closer to him, blocking his escape. “She wants me to stay away from you.”

Derek didn’t speak. He clenched he jaw and let his silence confirm Stiles’ thought.

“But why?” Allison asked.

Fuck if Derek knew. But, “It doesn’t matter. We need to stop her before she makes good on her threats.”

They all looked thoughtful then, trying to come up with a valid plan, except Stiles who said, “By the way, you’re done avoiding me.”

“Stiles,” Derek started, but he didn’t let him finish.

“Dude, you were gone for a week and she still stabbed a note on my door,” Stiles pointed out and he knew he was right.

“Don’t call me dude,” Derek huffed in a silent agreement.

They spent the rest of the day coming up with all kinds of plans. But the truth was they didn’t know what she was after. Did she just want Derek? Or was there another layer to her stalking that she hadn’t revealed yet? Derek suggested they use him as bait, but Stiles vetoed it right away and didn’t let anyone say anything else on the subject. In the end, they agreed that Stiles was not to stay on his own. Stiles insisted that he didn’t need the buddy-system to be enforced in his life. He was almost eighteen, for god’s sake! But none of them wanted to risk it. Scott would stay there for the night and then the rest of them would take turns. Meanwhile, Allison was going to inform her father and maybe get some ideas from him on what to do. Either way, they had to wait. For now, notes stabbed on his door were not anything that warranted any immediate reaction. As long as somebody was there, things were going to be fine.  The only problem was Stiles really hated waiting.

 

* * *

 

For the next week Stiles was getting more and more agitated. The notes just kept on coming but she never showed her face again. It made Stiles wait not really patiently for the other shoe to drop and he hated that. He reached a point where the werewolf constant presence in his life was not enough. He reached a point where he kept looking over his shoulder, he kept freezing at every badly inconspicuous sound that every villain made in movies right before the big showdown happened.  They told his dad. They kind of had to to explain why someone from the pack was there all the time. He had asked Stiles to describe the crazy Alpha and he had put out an APB for a woman with her description, but nothing had come up yet. Still, Stiles told him to always have his werewolf-special gun on him. Just in case.

Stiles felt like he was being watched all the time, but no one was there. They had searched. They thought that maybe she was masking her scent and heartbeat somehow and they couldn’t find her. Stiles thought maybe paranoia was starting to take over. He couldn’t help it. One minute he had forgotten about it, laughing carelessly about a thing or other with his friends and then a note would show up and shove him back to reality. Her words were ringing in his head all the time.

“ _I gave you an out, but you didn’t take it. You know you’re going to regret this, aren’t you? Soon.”_

God, her tone was so friendly, so matter-of-factly that it drove Stiles insane! She wrote her notes like they were long lost buddies and Stiles had accidentally kept one of her possessions and now she wanted it back. Well, guess what. Stiles didn’t have anything of hers!

_“I’m watching you. But you can’t see me. Neither can your dogs. But neither can my mate. Why is that, Stiles? Why do you keep on getting in the way?”_

That had been the first time she had called him by name. It also made it more real. She knew his name, his pack, where he lived. She knew anything. What was she going to do with that information?

_“Lacrosse, Stiles. Really? Derek likes basketball. Did you know that? I do. I know so much more. What do you know about him? Want me to tell you?_

_Nothing._

_You know nothing about him. You never will.”_

When Stiles showed this to Derek, he let out a low growl and then said, “It was just during high school. I didn’t like it.” Stiles liked to think that this was Derek’s way of comforting Stiles that no matter what anybody said, Stiles was still the one that knew him the best. Maybe. Stiles liked to dream, you know? Derek didn’t leave his side after that. In fact he was there when the next note showed up.

_“You know what? You keep on saying you don’t know why I want you gone. I’ll give you a chance to prove to me you should stay. I won’t wait for long._

_Tick. Tock._

_P.S. Derek knows how to find me. Don’t you Derek?”_

That was the last straw for Derek. Of course she knew who was with Stiles at any time. But this was the first time she outright taunted him in one of his notes. As he got up ready to leave, Stiles stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Derek, don’t. It could be a trap. We still don’t know what she wants.”

Derek got his arm out of Stiles hold and said, “She wants me. There’s no reason for anyone else to get hurt.” He used his werewolf speed to get out of there and Stiles was left blinking in the dark. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath and ran to follow him.

And that’s how the night in the woods happened. You know the one where the insane Alpha chased them through the woods and Derek hid them in a lake behind a cliff and Stiles found out that mates were actually real and Derek even had one? Yeah, that one.

Which brings us to the now, where Derek once again disappeared for days for some reason Stiles had no idea of, when only few days ago he refused to leave his side. Regarding what the alpha said that night about the person he was with combined with Derek’s mixed signals Stiles was pretty sure he was driving himself nuts. They couldn’t go on like this. Two week ago they were fine being the closest friends they could be taking into consideration their history. It was enough for them. It wasn’t enough for Stiles, but when it came to Derek he’d rather have him in his life in any capacity he could. That didn’t include not having him at all. This had to stop.

He decided to text him. He knew if he simply told him to come over, Derek would ignore him. Stiles had already tried that one. So maybe something more urgent would make him move his ass and come here. Just a little white lie. He’d forgive him, wouldn’t he?

Before he could convince himself otherwise, he grabbed his phone and sent the text. He paced his room, biting his nails, wondering if he made a mistake. Wondering if maybe he was being too obvious about the whole thing. Look, he wanted to know about the mate thing, sure. But it wasn’t as important as being okay with Derek. He needed to know they were okay.

“Stiles? What’s wrong?”

 “Jesus Christ, I’m going to put a bell on you someday,” he flailed at Derek’s sudden appearance. Had it been that long since he sent the message? He checked his phone; it had only been five minutes. Did Derek literally run here from the loft? “Did you run here?!”

“Stiles,” Derek growled. Stiles had only sent him three characters; SOS. “What’s wrong?”

Stiles rubbed his neck nervously, not having thought this far into his plan to bring Derek here. “Uh, something?” His winced at his own tone. It came out so unsure and Derek was now frowning and clenching his jaw and maybe getting angry and Stiles really didn’t know what to do about it. He went for the truth. “Nothing, okay!” he said suddenly, his voice rising by its own volition. He didn’t dare to look at him as he admitted the next part. “I just… I wanted to see you, okay?  To make sure we were, you know, okay…?” Jesus, always so eloquent Stiles.

“What are you talking about?” Derek asked him confused. He had stayed away because Stiles now had enough clues to figure out what he meant to Derek and he couldn’t witness the moment it dawned on him. But when the SOS message came, and a hundred scenarios went through his head not all of them with a happy ending, he had to make sure Stiles was okay. Apparently, he needn’t to worry.

“Well, the last time I saw you, you kind of…ran away.”

Yeah, he had. And he was going to do the same if Stiles pressured the issue. He sighed, “Stiles, I told you. I can’t…” He can’t what? Tell him? Risk their lives? Their friendship? He couldn’t let him in only to get hurt in the end? Maybe all of the above.

“I know!” Stiles rushed to say. “And I’m not going to pressure you! Just, are we cool?” Stiles bit his lips worryingly missing the way Derek looked at it, and waited for an answer.

Derek really needed to learn how to refuse anything to Stiles. “Yeah, we are.”

“Cool. You wanna do some research? Or watch a movie or something? If you want to?” Stiles asked awkwardly, rubbing his neck with his hand, and his foot on the floor.

Derek shrugged out of his jacket and set it on the back of the chair before he said, “Depends on the movie.”

Stiles smiled widely at him until an idea obviously popped in his head that made him smirk. “Mean Girls okay?”

Derek didn’t know what that was, but just the name was telling him enough. “I’m leaving.”

Stiles laughed, loud and free, in a way he hadn’t heard him since the whole stalker thing started. “Sorry! Sorry! Couldn’t resist. Man, the look on your face!” Derek let him laugh some more, a small smile tugging at his own lips at the sight.

“Batman okay?” Stiles asked, coming down from his laugh.

Derek nodded and made himself comfortable on Stiles bed, raising an eyebrow at him when he remained standing, looking at him.

“Leave some room for me, stupidwolf.”

Maybe they were going somewhere after all.

 

* * *

 

When the movie was over, they didn’t have any time to be awkward since they were practically cuddling on Stiles’ bed. Somehow having both moved during the movie to get comfortable, they ended up with Stiles leaning on Derek’s shoulder, one of his legs thrown over Derek’s, their hands brushing against the other between them and Derek’s head resting on Stiles’. They didn’t have 

time to dwell on it, because a loud crack was heard from downstairs, a sound both of them heard. They both got up, Derek going first and putting Stiles behind him, using his body as a shield.

There on the kitchen table, another note had been stabbed. They both froze at the entryway, realizing what that meant, and soon enough Derek was moving forward, grabbing the note and reading it with Stiles doing the same over his shoulder.

_“Why don’t we play hide and seek? I’ll hide in the woods and you’ll seek for me. Or maybe I’ll seek for you. We’ll see who wins._

_You want to catch me. No?_

_Well, this is your last chance.”_

She has gone too far this time. She has broken into Stiles home to leave him another of her freaky creepy notes. What if his father had been here? What if he had been in this room working on his case files and suddenly an Alpha werewolf popped out of nowhere and his father had tried to go for his gun and-- ? Stiles didn’t want to think about this. “Let’s go,” Stiles said to , determined to finish this.

“Stiles we can’t--”

“Derek, she’s playing us. And I’m not going to wait until someone I love gets hurt to do what I have to. This ends tonight.” Derek could see the determination; the fire in his eyes that told him Stiles was really ready to end this, no matter the outcome, regardless the cost. It scared him when Stiles was like this. It meant he would be even more careless than usual.

“Let’s go,” Stiles said, going out the door towards the woods, shouting, “Where are you?!”

Derek stopped him from moving any further hearing the Alpha getting closer, “Stiles, don’t-”

Before he could tell him not to go any further, a voice behind him said, “I told you I’d find you.”

It was that sickly sweet tone with a dash of smugness. It was annoying. “And I told you,” he said through gritted teeth, gently pushing Stiles to stand behind him, “I already have a mate.”

She leaned over and looked Stiles up and down, saying, “It really doesn’t smell like it.”

If Stiles hadn’t figured it out by now, Derek was sure he never would. “It’s really none of your business.” He was trying hard to keep his control, but the more she was advancing towards them, the harder it was to keep his fangs in.

“But it is!” She laughed with no humor. “That’s where you’re wrong about it. He” she said pointing at Stiles, “is standing in the way of my happiness and I’m not going to let him. I promised you wouldn’t be with him for long.” She smirked then, a vicious glint in her eyes that made Stiles shiver. “I tend to keep my promises.”

That was all Stiles heard, before he saw a blur of movement and then Derek was letting out the loudest, most moving roar he had ever heard. It was this angry, guttural sound. It was a sound of warning, a threat. It was anger in its purest expression. Rage in the most emotional form. It was sound Stiles had never heard any of the wolves make. It didn’t scare him. He didn’t flinch away. He didn’t close his eyes, or curl in on himself in fear. Somehow it made him feel protected. Somehow it made him feel safe.

And obviously it wasn’t just his world the roar rocked, because the female Alpha froze in her steps, looked like she was fighting for the urge to submit. It seemed like it eventually won, because seconds later she was on her knees, pushed by an invisible force to the ground, keeping her eyes down and baring her neck to the other Alpha. The apology that followed sounded forced, but sincere. “My apologies, Alpha Hale. I will leave your territory. I won’t bother you again. Please, have mercy.”

Derek didn’t answer her, but she must have seen something in his eyes or his posture because a moment later, she was taking off like a bat out of hell and Stiles had no idea what the fuck just happened. Which is exactly what he asked. “What the hell just happened?”

Derek didn’t look at him. “She’s gone. For good.” He turned to leave then, not wanting to see Stiles expression. He had lost control, he knew that. But the moment she lunged at Stiles kept playing over and over and over in his head and he couldn’t bring himself to regret it.

Stiles didn’t let him go that easily. Someone needed to tell him what the fuck just happened, what was that sound that Derek let out because he was going to explode. “No. You’re not going anywhere. We’re talking about this.” He knew he said he wouldn’t pressure him, but this changed things. This probably changed more things than Stiles had yet to realize.

“Stiles,” He sighed.

“No, Derek! An Alpha just practically attacked me and you freaking roared like I’ve never heard you before or anyone in that matter and she scattered off and I need to know why!” Stiles interrupted before Derek came up with another reason to avoid this conversation.

“Can’t this just wait till we go back to the loft?” He didn’t want to do this in the Stilinski household. And maybe he could come up with something believable until they got there.

“Why? So you can come up with a believable lie on the way there?” Stiles knew him too well, and the guilty look on his face proved that that was exactly what he had been thinking. “Yeah, thought so.” Stiles tried to gather his thought, tried to decide if this was something they needed to be inside four walls for. “No. You know what? We’re talking about this. Right here. Right now.”

Fine! He wanted to do this?! Then Derek was going to do this. It wasn’t like Stiles couldn’t figure it out on his own, so why wait? Maybe getting this over with was the best option for both of them. “Fine! You really want to know?!” Derek snapped at him. He produced a pocket knife from the back of his hand and gave it to Stiles, “Here, cut me.”

Stiles looked at the knife affronted, and took a step back, “Wha- ” He couldn’t believe this. What was Derek asking of him?! “Are you out of your freaking mind?! I’m not going to slice you open!”

Derek rolled his eye at him. “I’m not asking you to slice me open.” He wanted to know, didn’t he? This is the only way. “Just a small cut.”

Stiles shook his head, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Derek took a step forward and closed his hands around Stiles’, giving him the knife. “It won’t hurt. Trust me.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously, “Is this like the time you wanted me to cut off your arm?”

He needed to stop stalling. Now, Derek was committed to showing him. He wouldn’t stop now. “Just do it, Stiles.”

“Okay. Fine.” Stiles gulped, looking at the knife in his hands. Just a small cut, right? It wouldn’t hurt him. He was a werewolf. He was going to heal right away. Right? Right. He pressed the knife into Derek’s palm as gently as he could so that he wouldn’t hurt him and waited till he felt the skin give away under the blade. He jerked his hand back fast. Derek’s palm was bleeding now, but the werewolf hadn’t even flinched. “There. Now what?”

“Look closely,” Derek said, keeping his palm up for Stiles to see.

Stiles looked at Derek’s hand confused, no idea what he was looking for. “Okay, you lost me. What am I looking at?”

Derek looked him in the eyes as he said, “What do you see, Stiles?”

Derek looked at Derek’s palm and said the first thing he saw, “You’re bleeding.” Until what he said finally registered. He was bleeding. “Wait, you’re still bleeding. It was a…” But it was a small cut. A small cut that should have healed right away, but it was still bleeding. Why was it bleeding? “Why are you still bleeding? What’s-? Did I-? Are you-?” Stiles couldn’t form a sentence right now. He heart was racing, he could feel it getting closer to panic territory and he couldn’t stop. Did he hurt him? Oh my god, he hurt him. He hurt Derek. He-

“Stiles! I’m fine,” Derek shook him. “Just a small cut. See?” He flexed his palm to show him he was okay, nothing that wouldn’t heal in time. He could hear Stiles’ heartbeat slow down a bit and he almost let out a sigh of relief. Stiles looked him in the eyes, and he could see all the questions he was dying to ask, he could hear them as if they were his own. “There’s only one person in the world we don’t heal from.”

“Yeah, hunters with wolfsbane?” His brain was fried and he still couldn’t keep the sarcastic remark back. What could he do? It was his defense mechanism.

Derek smiled at that. He always appreciated Stiles snarky side. He always thought it fit his own perfectly. “No, not a group of people. Just one person.”

“One per…” _Mate._ But it couldn’t be, could it? He was Derek’s… that wasn’t it. Right? Stiles didn’t dare to hope. “Okay. I think I need you to spell it out for me here because I’m…It can’t be… It’s-?” Stiles was officially broken. At least his speech ability was.

Derek took a deep breath, and said it. He had reached this far. What were a few more words? “Our mate. They don’t trigger our healing process.”

Okay, Stiles’ brain is broken, fried, short circuited, whatever. It doesn’t work. Because what Derek’s saying means… “You mean that I?”

Was that hope Derek was hearing? Was that smell happiness? As he looked at Stiles, face clear without the usual mask of sarcasm, he thought that yeah. Yeah, it was. “You’re my mate, Stiles.”

Stiles was happy. That was the word for it. That meant Derek was into him, right? That meant Derek returned his feelings. But at the same time… Mates. Such a big meaning behind a four-lettered word. Or wasn’t it? Stiles didn’t know enough about this. He never thought such concept existed. “What does it mean? When did you know?”

Now that was the question he’d never thought he’d have to answer. It was ridiculously long the time he had been interested in Stiles. But he knew that wasn’t what he was asking. He wanted to know how long he knew Stiles was his mate. “That time you hit me, in the elevator. I didn’t heal for three weeks.”

Stiles touched his face, where the most recent bruise had been. It was now a faint yellow color. You had to really look for it to see it. He touched the tender skin and that single touch took his breath away. He couldn’t believe how long Derek had known. “That’s a long time ago. You idiot. I’ve been freaking pining for you all this time and you didn’t tell me?” He hit his chest lightly. Now that he knew he could hurt him, he vowed to never to do it again. “You’re an idiot.”

Derek raised an eyebrow at him, “You said that. Twice.”

“And I’ll say it again,” Stiles said taking that half step that was separating them. He put his hands on Derek’s shoulder and leaned in, “You’re an idiot,” he almost whispered.

But Derek didn’t close the distance like Stiles thought he would. Instead, he took a step back, disentangling himself from Stiles. Now it was his turn to be nervous, to run his hand through his hair, to huff in frustration as he tried to come up with the right words that wouldn’t spook Stiles now that he knew he had a chance with him. Derek wanted him. God, he wanted, but he couldn’t. Not like this. What Derek was talking about it was forever. It was _it._ Stiles was Derek’s _it_. And he couldn’t get a taste now only for Stiles to later realize that he couldn’t do this, that he couldn’t promise forever. He didn’t know how he’d live if he knew what Stiles tasted like and was fully aware he couldn’t have him. “No don’t,” Derek shook his head. “You need to think about this before we-” Derek was trying to find the words. He really was, but he wasn’t good at this. He looked at him in the eyes, “This is forever, Stiles. I can’t… Just think about it.” As he finished he saw Stiles looking at him as if it was puzzle he was trying to solve. He had to let him think about it. So he turned and started walking back towards the loft, stopping only when Stiles called out at him.

“Are you seriously going to walk all the way back to the loft?” He hadn’t come here with his car. He had run and Stiles wasn’t going to let him do the same again. He had a perfectly working jeep at his disposal. Well perfectly is just a matter of speech.

“It won’t be the first time,” Derek shrugged.

“Come on,” Stiles nodded at his jeep. “I’ll give you a ride.”

The drive to the loft was silent. Stiles spent the whole way over thinking about what had just happened, why Derek didn’t want to kiss him. Stiles understood that. He understood that born werewolves were raised differently. He understood that finding their one and only was a big deal for them in ways a human couldn’t imagine. And Stiles couldn’t really imagine. But he understood Derek’s need to make sure that Stiles was in this.  He gets it. He does. Which only makes him think about it even more. Derek deserves the best life has to give him. And Stiles doesn’t know if he is it.

When they got to the loft ten minutes later, Stiles looked at Derek for as long as he could, not caring if he was going to get caught. It didn’t really matter now, did it? He just wondered if Stiles could give him all he needed in life. He just wondered how they’ve spent their time arguing, fighting, pushing at each other’s buttons, if Stiles could make him happy like he knew he should be.

Derek hesitated to leave, wanting to say something, anything in case this was the last he was seeing of Stiles, but he couldn’t come up with something suitable. So, he settled for a simple “thanks” that he hoped conveyed his gratitude for everything Stiles had done for him and walked away.

Stiles didn’t leave though. He couldn’t make himself start the car again and go home. He couldn’t leave it at this. And Derek’s “thanks” hid more than the word actually meant. It hid something final that Stiles couldn’t explain. But it was choking him. It put a weight in his stomach and he didn’t like the feeling. He had to make a decision. There were so many questions he wanted to ask. So many stories he had read in the past about mates before he even knew werewolves were real all more different than the other. Like, what was going to happen to Derek if he said no? If he said yes, would a bond be formed? What did it take for it to be formed? Did Stiles want to put himself in whatever process that was? He couldn’t answer any of these, not without the right information. So, he didn’t stay there to torture himself with questions that would only get out of control the longer he thought about it. He got out of the car and climbed the stairs to the loft two at a time. By the time reached the door he thought that maybe the elevator would have been better.

He didn’t wait for Derek to tell him to go away and think. He could probably hear his heartbeat. He knew he was there. He opened the door then and found Derek sulking on his couch. “I have questions,” he announced. He thought he heard Derek mutter, “of course you do,” but he couldn’t be sure.

“What kind of questions?” Derek eventually said.

“About this, us,” he said pointing at each other, “mates.”

Derek sighed, “What do you want to know?”

“What does it mean for you?” Stiles started with the hardest one he could think of, the most important one because he didn’t know how many Derek was willing to answer.

Derek swallowed, knowing what he had to say. It wasn’t easy talking about his mother. It was never going to be easy. “My mom used to tell me that our mates can hurt us because they’re never meant to. She said they make us stronger, that they make us feel things outside of the known spectrum. They make us the best being we can be and all they ask in return is love and protection.”

“The roar,” Stiles said in understanding.

Derek nodded and continued, “Mates, they complete each other. Mom used to say it’s consuming and that’s why when I find it I should cherish it. I never did what they wanted me to. Not after…” Derek stopped, unable to say her name. She had been the start of everything, the beginning of hell, until he found Stiles; his earth.

Paige. Stiles knew. “Stop it,” he said, practically ordered. He took the seat next to him and forced him to look at him by taking his face in his hands, “It wasn’t your fault.  None of it was. And you never hurt me. Sure you’ve been a dick to me, we’ve both been dicks to each other, but you never hurt me, you hear me?” Stiles looked in his eyes trying to get it through Derek’ thick skull that he wasn’t the oppressor. He had been the victim of a terrible hand that life handed to him.

But Derek pushed him away. Not literally. He got up and almost shouted, the pain so obvious in his voice, “I’ve pushed you into walls, I’ve threatened to rip your throat out with my teeth several times, I even pushed your head on the wheel for fuck’s sake, Stiles!”

Stiles got up after him, seeing now so clearly why Derek never said anything. Why Derek wouldn’t have ever said anything. “You have. But I’ve said some pretty terrible things to you. I almost cut your arm off once. I let the nogitsune do some pretty terrible things to you.”

“That wasn’t you,” Derek said softly, refusing to look at him.

“I was there and I couldn’t stop it.” Derek still wasn’t looking at him. Stiles got as close as he could pushing Derek’s chin gently upwards with his fingers so that they were at eyelevel and once he knew he had his attention, he said, “Listen to me. We’ve both said and done bad things to each other. But you never hurt me. Not in a way that could scar anyway.”

Stiles really believed that. Derek could hear his heartbeat and it didn’t skip once. He needed time to process what Stiles just said. So, he asked the only thing he could come up with. “What’s your other question?”

Stiles took a breath, because he knew how that was going to sound, but this was the only other thing he needed to know before he made a decision. “What happens if I say no?” Stiles felt Derek freeze under his fingers and he wished he could take it back, but he needed to know.

Derek turned his back on him, getting away from his touch, looking out of the massive windows in the loft. He put his hand where Stiles’ had been moments earlier. He already missed it. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Will you die?” Because he had read that somewhere.

Derek turned to him then, “No, I won’t.” _But it won’t be easy living._ He didn’t say that.

“Okay.” Stiles swallowed nervously, because he made up his mind. He knew what he wanted. He took a step forward and asked, his voice almost a whisper, “Can I kiss you now?”

Derek looked at him surprised. “You want to?”

Stiles took the final step and breathed out shakily as he felt Derek’s body against his own, “Only for the past two years or so.”

Derek let out a breath he didn’t even know he had been holding. He didn’t wait any more. He closed the space between them, looking into Stiles eyes while he was, remembered thinking about how they seemed almost black from up close and kissed him. His mind went blank as their lips connected. There was only Stiles, the only one he could hear, the only one he wanted to touch. There were no fireworks. But as Stiles kissed him back he thought no fireworks could compare to this. It was out of the feelings spectrum. It didn’t just take his breath away. He couldn’t explain it. It grounded him. It made him feel _alive._ It made him grateful to _live_ , even though he felt he hadn’t lived yet while Stiles hadn’t been in his life.

It was just like his mother promised.

Because in the end, when it came to loving Derek or not loving him at all, Stiles couldn’t resist.  He found his _it_ two years ago. He only wanted to be loved in return. And Derek did and it was beyond the known spectrum of feelings.

Because for them, this is not an end of a story. It’s the beginning of theirs.

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's long but I honestly didn't want to cut it anywhere and make it chaptered. 
> 
> I hope you liked it though! :)
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](http://puddingwillbeouralways.tumblr.com/) if you want to say hi.


End file.
